Cast

• Announcer
• Audio Technician
• Dr. Morris (called "Doc" even though she hates the nickname)
• Information Director
• Lord Marcus Westenra
• Magnus Porter
• Morgan
• Personal Secretary
• Portal Opperator
• Portal Technician
• Radio Producer
• Reporter
• Security Guard
• Vincent

The substitute host fires off with a monologue. It feels more like a sales pitch.

Radio Producer: (grumbling to himself) This is going to be abso-fucking-lutely lovely. I need a raise.

The host introduces an interview segment.

Radio Producer: (sighs) Thank God Magnus left a contingency plan; otherwise, this bloke would go on and on.

An interview conducted by Chris Moody featuring Scott Sigler plays. Then the host introduces the first song to be played on the show.

The host starts to say something but is cut off by the sound of an answering machine beep. It is followed by a call from Scott Sigler. The host then advertises Scott’s book Infected while the scene shifts between the portal room and the hospital room respectively.

Sounds of a heart monitor and other equipment.

Portal Technician: (speaking while typing away on keyboard and clicking mouse) I have his last known coordinates.

Portal Opperator: I have him on screen, sir

Portal Technician: Patch me through.

Portal Opperator: Aye, sir.

Portal Technician: Opening . . .

Portal Opperator: Portal activated around target.

Portal Technician: Now!

Portal Technician: Steady . . . Steady . . .

Portal Opperator: <In a slight panic> I'm having trouble keeping it around him.

Portal Technician: Relax. Your doing good. Remember to keep the size relative to his body.

Portal Opperator: <calming down> Keeping the size relative to his body.

Portal Technician: We don't want to bring the hospital bed as well. We have no room to put it. <chuckles>

Portal Opperator: We have him, sir.

Portal Technician: Well done.

Portal Opperator: <As if accomplished and a little excited> He's in one piece.

Portal Technician: <amused> Well, of course he is. This isn’t the transporter from Star Trek you know.

Personal Secretary: Dear God, he's been wounded! <Sighs> At least we got to him in time. I need to get a hold of Vincent and Doc.

Radio Producer: <agitated thanks to the annoying host> Yes?

Vincent: Well *hello* to you too.

Radio Producer: <appologeticly> I’m sorry; the sub they flew in is annoying the hell out of me. <pauses> I’m sorry I wasn't able to get to him in time, Vincent.

Vincent: Ah. Keep your cool, soldier. Magnus will be up in about in no time. Have we figured out who the lucky bastard is that shot him?

Radio Producer: No. <Sighs> I couldn't here anything behind the glass. I just saw him . . . fall. Then I contacted HQ as the medics rushed in.

Vincent: <as if in thought> Affirmative. Well, did the wiz-kid see anything on her end?

Audio Technician: <Agitated> Considering I was making sure audio levels were calibrated correctly, no; I didn't see anything.

Vincent: <sternly> Are you sure?

Audio Technician: <As if talking down to someone of lower intelligence> Hel-lo. I couldn't here anything with the headset I was wearing, and my eyes were fixed on a screen. <drawn out> Com-pren-de?

Security Guard: <chimes in> If I may, sir, I have information that might be useful.

Radio Producer: <to himself> Thank God.

Vincent: <through gritted teeth while trying to control his temper> Go ahead.

Security Guard: The perp managed to break the window and jump to the ground below –

Vincent: <interrupts excitedly> Did you get a good clear shot of who we are dealing with?

Security Guard: Yes, we caught him on camera, but we didn't get a good profile. I'll have to digitally enhance the images later. Once I do, I can send them via the usual method.

Vincent: Alright then. Magnus has been retrieved from the hospital. I’ll contact you all if anything develops. Vincent, out.

Lord Marcus Westenra: So you see, Earth still disavows the existence of the Astral Realm; classifying it as "New Age mumbo jumbo".

Vincent: Marcus.

Marcus: <interrupted and concerned> Yes?

Vincent: It’s about Magnus.

Marcus: Good Lord! Is he alright?

Vincent: He’s been shot. The local doctors removed the bullet so he should be fine. I haven’t seen him yet, but I wanted to let you know.

Marcus: Right. Spot on as usual, m’lad. <Urgently> I'll be there momentarily.

Vincent: Fare enough.

Morgan: <exclaiming as she pokes her head in> What in blazes? Went and got ‘imself shot eh? I told ‘im to be careful didn't I? That's Magnus for ya; stubborn and ‘ard ‘eaded.

Marcus: And yet you dote over him as if you were his mother. I swear, child; you amuse me sometimes. Come along. When he comes to, he will be already brimming with ideas. You had better take notes. We will wait in the waiting room.

Morgan: <petulant> Notes? More bloody notes. But uncle.

Marcus: No buts. You want to follow in my footsteps someday. What better time than starting now.

Morgan: <begrudgingly> I suppose.

Radio Producer: <exasperated and somewhat to himself> Oh merciful Heaven; this guy needs to be fired. Only . . . one . . . more . . . song, and then he is gone. Finished. Fork you, old chap. You. Are. Done. Never to return. If I wasn’t a law abiding citizen, I’d stick my knife in his eye and stir his brain around like peanut butter.

Audio Technician: Must you be so graphic? I think I am going to have a protein spill if you keep up.

Radio Producer: <chuckles> You and your *political* correctness. I blame the *wonderful* world of Disney.

Audio Technician: <giggles but tries to sound annoyed> Hey! I had fun there.

Radio Producer: They warped your vocabulary; brainwashed you. I don’t call that fun. I call that a dictatorship clothed in costumes. <more serious as giving instructions> Time for another commercial break, Wizard.

Doc Morris: <thinking aloud to herself> Magnus Magnus Magnus; what have you gotten yourself into this time?

Vincent: I want to see him, Doc.

Doc Morris: Christ! You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that, Vincent. I know you want to see him, but it wouldn’t do much good just now; he’s *bloody* sedated for god’s sake. Can’t you wait with the others?

Vincent: <with raised voice> I don't ca-- <suddenly remembers to tone it down a few notches> I don’t care. I’m his best friend; we’ve been through hell and back.

Doc Morris: But.

Vincent: I'll watch over him personally. I owe it to him. <frustrated and wistful> Hell, If I'd only been there, he wouldn't have been shot in the first place.

Doc Morris: There was a security gard on duty.

Vincent: Yes. Nothing beats a personal guard, or a damn good friend in this case.

Doc Morris: Alright. Just keep it down will ya? You’ve been giving orders so much that you forgot about that rule you learned in grammar school. And I *know* your hearing is perfectly fine after giving you a complete physical last week.

Vincent: <taken aback> What?

Doc Morris: You know, <as if she were a kendergarden teacher> "We have to remember to use our ‘inside voices’ when we are inside."

Vincent: <as if he just received egg on his face> Oh. Yeah. That. <fighting back a laugh but failing> I’ll do my best.

Reporter: Pardon me ma’am.

Information Director: <Sarcastically to herself> Great. Just what I needed; a cup of coffee with a side order of "How am I going to explain this one" . <to the reporter> I’m sorry but we have no comment at this time.

Reporter: But can you explain why your on-air personality just up and left his hospital room? Witnesses say they saw some sort of light.

Information Director: Like I said; no comment at this time. I’m sure they were seeing a glare coming from somewhere else in the room. <briskly> Now, if you will excuse me, I have a mess to clean up.

Reporter: But ma’am! Why did -- <sighs to himself as she walks away> Something isn’t right here.

Information Director: <Sighs in slight annoyance> Why did they have to put him in a bed near an open window?

Magnus: <is coming to> Where am I?

Doc Morris: Your in the infirmary.

Magnus: I was –

Doc Morris: Shot. Yes, I know. Good thing you managed to get into a hospital thanks to the medics on standby. Saved me from having to patch you up it did. You'll be fine. They were able to remove the bullet with no mishaps. <Stern but with a bit of humor> Now, rest, or I'll have to tie you down; you need it with all the hours you pull.

Vincent: Do as she says. I already have people hunting down the bastard. We want you sharp as a tack so stay put. I’ve got this one covered.

Magnus: Alright. You win.